How Not to Write a Song (Live)

from by Trains Across the Sea



Quite literally, why Trains Across the Sea is not going to be a household name (and why that's not the goal).


If you're young and in a band and you're
Tryin' to be a rock star
Yeah you're trying to be a rock star
And you want to make it big
Yeah if the idea of playing on
A rotating drumset
In front of a thousand screaming drunk guys
Is your idea of fun, well then
Your songs better not include such words as
The tyranny of Clear Channel
A song about the tyranny of Clear Channel
Won't get you on the radio
And few will clap and sing along
If you mention the trail of tears
Because a song discussing the horrors of a capitalist system
Won't do the trick

And if it's sex and drugs you seek
From playing rock and roll
First you'll have to write that song
And make that sexy video
But know that there are rules to writing songs
For the lowest common denominator
They do not enjoy singing along
To "The horror! The horror!" of war,
Nor! do they like any references
To the novels of Joseph Conrad
They'd much rather hear a song about
A boy that likes a girl
Where the girl's too cute and the boy's too shy
And it makes the singer scream or cry
And everybody's all hung up on love
So they ignore the poor and take some drugs

So if you want to give the masses
Exactly what they want
Make sure your words are easy and short
So everyone can sing along
And don't say words like "government"
And especially not "universal health care"
And never ever stop supporting our troops
And question the concept of war
War is needed and God's on our side
So all you trrrsts better run and hide
Because this is nothing like Vietnam
Why our troops wear brown…
But none of these words belong in a song
Îf you're trying to be a rock star
Because all they want to know
Is if your milkshake brings all the boys to the yard


from Trains Across the Sea, track released July 14, 2008
David Rose: Drums



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Trains Across the Sea Columbus, Ohio

Trains Across the Sea is the musical output of Andy Gallagher.

He also co-wrote "SEMI FAME: The Truck Route to Broadway."

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